Tuesday, May 30, 2006

tip the hat, bow the head slightly, and hold the door

in the hustle and bustle of new york city there is no time to stop and think about anyone but yourself, or so we all assume. if you stop even for a second as you walk down the street you will be tackled from behind by the next guy rushing to get to his destination. so imagine my surprise this morning as i witnessed the exception to this notion right in penn station.
a woman with a young child in a carriage was de-boarding a train from long island, when not only did a gentleman rush to her aid to help lift the stroller over the gap between the platform and the train, but also ask her if she needed assistance in carrying the child up the stairs to the main level of penn. shocked at his inquiry, i obviously watched the rest of the situation unfold rather than plowing down the man in front of me to run up the stairs and catch the next subway. the man insisted that he help her and they began their trek up the stairs. upon seeing this, another gentleman came to the rescue and carried the stroller with the child up the stairs so the woman would not have to struggle with the uncomfortable position of the stroller.
surprise surprise new york. well mannered people do exist in this chaotic city we live in. and how unfortunate it is that good manners are not common but rather surprising.
only in new york kids. only in new york.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

"The peace process is too delicate. And at this hospital in the eastern Congo, the rooms are too full."

Eliminate ignorance to the issues that plague our world and educate others. Take a stand and form an opinion. Express your opinion openly. Fight for those who are unable to fight for themselves. The power of one is immense.

Rather than focusing on publicizing who showed up to Marquee or Plumm last night try this as a topic of conversation today...


Rape, brutality ignored to aid Congo peace
By Jeff KoinangeCNN
Wednesday, May 24, 2006; Posted: 8:09 a.m. EDT (12:09 GMT)

BUKAVU, Democratic Republic of Congo (CNN) -- At a makeshift recreation center at a hospital here in eastern Congo, about 500 women surround one of their own, who's lying on the floor.

She clutches a cane as she struggles to get up. The women begin singing, slowly at first and then the song picks up momentum. Before long the young woman lifts herself, drops the cane and begins to walk around the room as if in a trance, singing and clapping. The other women clap along with her as the singing gets louder and louder.

The young woman's name is Tintsi and she's barely 20 years old. She arrived at the hospital three weeks ago on a stretcher carried by relatives who walked 100 miles to get here. Doctors weren't sure Tintsi would ever walk again.

Tintsi, like everyone else in this room, is a victim of the worst kind of sexual violation imaginable. (Watch rape victims try to rebuild their lives -- 5:38)

"Some of them have knives and other sharp objects inserted in them after they've been raped, while others have pistols shoved into their vaginas and the triggers pulled back," said Dr. Denis Mukwege Mukengere, the lone physician at the hospital. "It's a kind of barbarity that only savages are capable of."

He added that "these perpetrators cannot be human beings."

The alleged perpetrators are men in uniform, part of the Congolese army. These troops are a compilation of various militia groups that had been fighting each other for years until a truce was reached two years ago.

A recent report by the United Nations found that Congo's own soldiers were responsible for the nearly seven dozen complaints of crimes and human rights violations over the past two months. Among the crimes committed were extrajudicial executions, disappearances, rapes and brutal beatings, according to the U.N. report.

'I wish they'd killed me'
Tintsi turns to the other victims standing near her and says in a soft, but defiant voice, "They can take away my womanhood, but they'll never be able to break my spirit."

Some women nod, others shake their heads. Some weep openly.

Also in the room is 28-year-old Henriette Nyota. Her spirit is all but broken. Three years ago, she said, she was gang raped as her husband and four children were forced to watch. The men in uniform then disemboweled her husband and continued raping her and her two oldest daughters, 10 and 8. The assault went on for three days.

"I wish they'd killed me right there with my husband," she said, "What use am I now? Why did those animals leave me to suffer like this?"

Nineteen-year-old Nzigire bears the result of repeated sexual violations -- her year-old daughter, Ester. The teenager acknowledges she often contemplates putting an end to what she calls a death sentence.

"I sometimes feel like killing myself and my daughter," she said. "I look at her and all I see is them. I look at myself and all I see is misery."

'Only revenge can make me forget'
Misery permeates this tiny hospital in this huge country the size of Western Europe. Last year there were more than 4,000 reported rape cases in this province alone, or about 12 a day, officials say.

And it's not just women who are being raped; so are some men with equally devastating consequences.

Fifteen-year-old Olivier was sitting down to dinner with his family when the front door of their house was smashed in. Olivier's father was the first to be killed followed by his mother, right in front of the children.

They then raped Olivier's three sisters, and when he tried to fight them they turned on him. One at a time, more than a dozen in all, he said.

"I will never forget what happened to me," he said. "How does one forget something like this? Only revenge can make me forget what happened to me."

Mukengere takes us from ward to ward, where the beds are filled with sexual abuse patients in various stages of recovery. Colostomy bags hang off their cots and bed pans are everywhere. Once in a while, you hear a woman scream in pain as she's raised by the team of tireless nurses to have something to eat or drink.

Mukengere, who attends to an average of 10 new cases a day, explains bed-by-bed the cruelty that has become the Congo.

"Helene, over there, is 19 years old. She first came here five years ago after having been raped," he said. "We treated her and discharged her, and off she went back to her home village. Five years later, she's back after being attacked and sexually violated over and over again. This is pure madness."

Equally troubling is that aid money designated for victims of sexual abuse here may run out at the end of June despite the relative success of this program, the only one of its kind in the region.

"It's so tragic that the world can afford to sit back and let these atrocities continue like this," said aid worker Marie Walterzon of the Swedish Pentecostal Mission. "Possibly because it involves poor, voiceless Africans," she said.

Sadly though, many of the people responsible for these rapes -- what is being described as the new weapon of war in a time of peace -- have yet to be arrested, tried or convicted. The peace process is too delicate at this stage, officials say.

The peace process is too delicate. And at this hospital in the eastern Congo, the rooms are too full.

Monday, May 22, 2006



ever wonder just where it is that you are going?

is THE liberal republican really all that liberal?

"I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, that it should remain that way, it should remain that way inviolate, and everything should be done to make sure that that's the case... But I also believe that you should allow for the protection of legal rights for people who are gay and lesbian." - Rudy Giuliani

is that not complete hypocrisy? how is it "rights" just happen to exclude the right of marriage? when did the american definition of rights suddenly lose its adjoining phrases including of rights for all, or freedom, or liberty?

the vote is june 5th. passing a ban on marriage for same-sex couples means just one thing: enshrining discrimination into our Constitution. send a virtual post card to your senators through the hrc telling them to reject the discriminatory bill. when you sign, a postcard with your name and address will be automatically printed out at hrc's headquarters and delivered to capital hill before the vote.

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/fma_postcards/w5n8esi205bxdb3?

no time for apathy. time to stand up and make some noise.

raving review


pop your lacoste shirt collars, leave the polos at home, and make sure there's a crease in your slacks, not pants. this restaurant is not for the vegan, light hearted, soda drinking, sneaker wearing population. teller's brings long island's country club elite to the dining room constructed within a bank with views of the vault which now houses some of the world's finest wines. this is a restaurant where gatsby comes to mind as the diners reflect old money rather than the flashy new money we are so accustomed to here in nyc. be sure to make reservations, and if you know someone be sure to drop their name to reserve a leather booth table in the corner overlooking the entire dining room. the service is delightful, with waiters knowing what you need before you even begin to do the hand wave to politely ask them over. show up hungry as the chops are fred flinstone large. the rib eye even comes with the entire rib still attached. ask for the garlic mashed potatoes which are not listed on the menu but are a must even if its a date. this ladies and gentlemen is what having money and knowing how to eat is all about. welcome to long island's upper class.

Friday, May 12, 2006

social consciousness amongst corporate america

read it. learn it. and live by it.

company's core values:

♦ we believe the power of love is expressed through compassionate, selfless service.

♦ we believe personal liberation and social change emanate from self-actualization and awareness.

♦ we believe in a community that nurtures the diversity of individuals.

♦ we value an open and inclusive sense of community and every individual's contribution.

♦ we value the courage, in ourselves and in others, to pursue dreams with conviction.


wouldn't it be great if the company above was acorporationn or an LLC or even an LP. wouldn't it be great if those were our own personal ideals which we lived by?

for the record its part of the stonewall foundation's mission.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

raving review



the name- tia pol.
the location- 205 10th avenue at 23rd street.
the genre of food- tapas.
the ambiance- mesmerizingly intimate.
the price range- apprx $$

this narrow dimly lit restaurant might hide itself in the middle of the gallery universe but it should not be passed up upon based on the vacant lot next door. you wont find tacos or the american fajitas on this menu, nor is this a one stop kind of shop. serving some of the sweetest yet delectable red wine sangria on the west side combined with the brick walls and wooden floors makes this a perfect date location. begin your conversation over fried chickpeas and continue by commenting on the chorizo con chocolate. if the night isnt going so well be sure to order the croquettas de jamon as they are so tasty you will be concentrating on how to make the bites last long enough to endure the rest of the date.

recommendations- bring the perfect person or order an extra pitcher of the sangria to make them feel like the perfect person.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

new find. granian.




granian.

new find of the week thanks to emily. granian is an acoustic/electric rock band led by garen gueyikian. with four albums under their belt, granian plays over 100 shows a year and has shared the stage with matchbox 20, guster, dispatch, howie day, pat mcGee band and o.a.r. review to come another time.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

...quotable cards...

never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.

lose yourself in the music..

lose yourself in the music, the moment. you own it, you better never let it go. you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. this opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo. the soul’s escaping, through this hole that it’s gaping this world is mine for the taking.

so the song goes. over guacamole, sangria, and a dressed to impressed crowd at rosa mexicana in chelsea, carlene and i compared relationship notes and exchanged pointers. i cant remember all that we talked about but the one conversation that stands out is carlene's description of what went wrong in her long term relationship. she said something interesting- she explained that things had changed after a bit of being together, in fact it was she that had changed while her girlfriend was rather constant. i quickly asked her to explain. she described that she had changed over the course of the first year of their relationship. when i replied that change was a natural constant, she explained that it was more than a change. it was metamorphosisis. she had lost herself in her relationship. she had lost her likes and dislikes, picking up along the way those of her girlfriend's as a replacement, and in turn had lost helivelihoodod.
i was quickly struck by her honesty in admitting such a fault in herself and furthermore plagued all night by the notion. sacrifice is a natural part of successfulul relationship, but where do we draw the lines? do we sacrifice parts of ourselves and our being to progress in a relationship? and if so is this just the beginning then of the end of the relationship?
i thought about my dating life and the previous excitement of my dating life before entering into a relationship. going out was always fun and sure i was destined to meet someone most of the time, even if i was not interested at all. but then it came to me that i met more people and went on more dates when i was happy with myself and living my own personal life to the fullest. coincidence? i think not. i think maybe having a life complete in itself without an additional person is enticing and draws others whether it be in attraction through desire or envy or whatever else. during the highs is when i met the most significant people who i was personally attracted to as well, and during the lows is when i met those who were destructive.
i guess what this leads me to is the idea of a relationship, the timcommitmentnt, the sacrifices we make to be a part of something larger than 1, the consequential changes we make in ourselves, and what we are left with at the end of the day. how do we get to the point where we can manage a relationship without losing ourselves?
maybe its based on truly knowing ourselves.

Friday, May 05, 2006

so you know where im coming from

a taste of worth while posts from previous site to help begin the new direction:

~a new year brings a new theme~
...capture the fleeting moments...

after a year of hardships, breakups, losses and ultimate devastation, a new year has come to wipe the slate clean. although i have already blemished the slate in the 8 days since the new year, i haven't tarnished it like the last.
i have decided then that my theme of the new year shall be capture the fleeting moments. capture the fleeting moments in every essence of the words from video taping and taking pictures, to living like there is no day but today, to taking chances and risks on the unknown. 2006 will not be a year of regrets but of moments looked back upon with a smile knowing that i lived deeply and passionately.
join me and capture the fleeting moments of 2006.


~making strides in television shows~
l word recap from last night:

dana dies of breast cancer... the rest doesn't matter and seems trivial.

so the beginning of the season dana gets breast cancer (note: season began january 7th) and now mid season (march) dana passes away succumbing to the cancer. so why write about it?? because its real and its happening right now...

breast cancer is the most common type of cancer among women in the u.s. and is the leading cause of cancer deaths among women age forty to fifty nine. it accounts for one of every three cancer diagnoses in women. account 211,240 cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in women this year and over 40,000 women will die from breast cancer this year. there are over 2 million breast cancer survivors alive today in the u.s. and the number of deaths sue to breast cancer seems to be declining. a combination of earlier detection and more effective treatments is thought to be responsible for declining death rates.

why is this important? well 1. for the obvious reason- its cancer 2. i cant think of one person that i know who hasnt in some way been affected by cancer 3. i am part of number 2
too many people i have loved and love have been hit by cancer. take my best friend for example. 21 years old, star athlete- field hockey rockstar and captain of the lacrosse team (this is college people), popular as all hell, smartest nerd. and bam she gets diagnosed with cancer, not once but like three times. how does this happen? a person who has never been more sick than the common cold, who takes vitamins daily, has a balanced diet we all envy, exercises regularly, and stresses about what to wear to the bar and a paper due in psych class. who punishes someone like that with a life threatening and sometimes taking disease?

when you sit down and think about it- there is no logical explanation. it cant be rationalized why some people get cancer and others dont. the truth of the situation is that we are all vulnerable to the disease and the only way to fight it is to spread the word and join the cause.
time to stand up and make some noise... join the making strides campaign or hit up the susan g komen foundation website. do something. stop letting apathy rule our bodies and lives.

takeaway: my best friend's attitude during her two surgeries, radiation treatments, countless blood tests and biopsies: "i may have cancer, but cancer doesnt have me"
life is precious- get out there and live it.


~why i did not vote for bush~

'i mean, think about it. other than the war in iraq, the katrina disaster, the deficit, the cia leak, torture, stopping stem cell research, homeland security, global warmingand undercutting science, we’ve yet to really feel the negative effectsof the bush administration.'
– bill moyers




~rising singing sensation coming to nyc~
missy higgins
june 8th canal room
check her out at www.missyhiggins.com
you'll want to say you knew who she was before she made it big in the states...



~moral fiber~
so i recently saw the movie 'a girl next door' for the first time and it got me thinking. yes i know how many people have seen the movie and what a cheesy movie. truth is it really made me think about the lengths we would or we do go to for others, how much of ourselves we are willing to sacrifice for others, and what it ultimately translates to in the end.
theres a part where the main character mike gives a speech about moral fiber. he is supposed to explain his interpretation of the meaning of moral fiber and his personification of it...

his speech:
"moral fiber. so, what is moral fiber? it's funny, i used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. but lately i've been seeing it differently. now i think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. and when you find her, you fight for her. you risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. and maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. you know what? it doesn't matter. because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. that's what moral fiber's all about..."

are morals defined solely by my definition or is it by society's definition? for that matter what does it mean then to be moral or to have morals? i found this plaguing my mind all night afterwards as i questioned then if i was moral and what i thought my morals were. considering the past year and the torment of my upstanding morality by society, i wondered then who was right or what was right. are morals things like the ten commandments, thou shalt not steal or murder or etc? or are morals things like love and compassion and tolerance and respect? and if morals are the latter who determines if we are living according to those notions? its easy to say that if morals are defined as something like the 10 commandments living morally would be living aoccrding to the majority social consiousness, where we are punished by the legal law system for crimes committed and punished by society's laws for thing like cheating and affairs and other socially taboo subjects. but just because something is taboo or not socially accepted doesn't mean that it automatically immoral.

how did a negative connotation get attached to abortion for example? if someone has an abortion according to the 10 commandments and christian belief, they would be deemed immoral. and if someone had an abortion the majority of society at this point in time would label them as immoral and bestow the scarelt letter upon them if this information was made public. but if an abortion was medically necessary to protect the health of the mother, why is this immoral? given that abortion is an easy case to see the catch 22 what about the more complex cases of everyday living?

what defines us as living a moral life? is it that i attend church everyday, although during that hour of chuch i am confessing my sins of the week to god, or that i have an open and loving heart, even if it is given to a woman rather than a man? is being moral living a straight path and never taking the meandering roads? is it living a bland life lackluster risks and excitement?

what i suppose then is that morals are what we make of them. they allow us to somehow rationalize ourselves into being better human beings than our consiousness allows. morals arent universal; they arent black and white. they are grey and purple and green and blue and all shades of the spectrum. what i know for sure is that the moral fiber that holds my life together and makes sense of my sporadic emotions and questionable behaviour is love.

simply love.


~creatively and sensationally~
pure brilliance as captured by tal: