lose yourself in the music..

lose yourself in the music, the moment. you own it, you better never let it go. you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. this opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo. the soul’s escaping, through this hole that it’s gaping this world is mine for the taking.

so the song goes. over guacamole, sangria, and a dressed to impressed crowd at rosa mexicana in chelsea, carlene and i compared relationship notes and exchanged pointers. i cant remember all that we talked about but the one conversation that stands out is carlene's description of what went wrong in her long term relationship. she said something interesting- she explained that things had changed after a bit of being together, in fact it was she that had changed while her girlfriend was rather constant. i quickly asked her to explain. she described that she had changed over the course of the first year of their relationship. when i replied that change was a natural constant, she explained that it was more than a change. it was metamorphosisis. she had lost herself in her relationship. she had lost her likes and dislikes, picking up along the way those of her girlfriend's as a replacement, and in turn had lost helivelihoodod.
i was quickly struck by her honesty in admitting such a fault in herself and furthermore plagued all night by the notion. sacrifice is a natural part of successfulul relationship, but where do we draw the lines? do we sacrifice parts of ourselves and our being to progress in a relationship? and if so is this just the beginning then of the end of the relationship?
i thought about my dating life and the previous excitement of my dating life before entering into a relationship. going out was always fun and sure i was destined to meet someone most of the time, even if i was not interested at all. but then it came to me that i met more people and went on more dates when i was happy with myself and living my own personal life to the fullest. coincidence? i think not. i think maybe having a life complete in itself without an additional person is enticing and draws others whether it be in attraction through desire or envy or whatever else. during the highs is when i met the most significant people who i was personally attracted to as well, and during the lows is when i met those who were destructive.
i guess what this leads me to is the idea of a relationship, the timcommitmentnt, the sacrifices we make to be a part of something larger than 1, the consequential changes we make in ourselves, and what we are left with at the end of the day. how do we get to the point where we can manage a relationship without losing ourselves?
maybe its based on truly knowing ourselves.