late night train ride home

all alone in a city of millions

the trouble with new york city is the disillusion that the city is the solution to the void we search our lives trying to fill. there is a sense of emptiness in all of us as we hunt to complete ourselves with someone else, something else, or in the case of most new york city locals somewhere else.

we believe new york city to be equivalent to constant excitement and jubilee, and convince ourselves that this excitement is the solution to the dullness of the void. we somehow convince ourselves that meeting new people and having hundreds of my space friends would solve the emptiness in our lives. we flutter through the days working ridiculous hours just to ensure we have enough money to spend our nights at the latest page six hot spot. we manipulate ourselves and go out every night, leaving little time for thinking or feeling.

the truth is that at some point despite being able to find the scene of our choice in new york on any given night, it will no longer be enough. we will ultimately realize that new york is in fact the loneliest city in the world, with the most number of people losing themselves within its social oblivion. new york city will not complete us and will not cure lonesomeness. in fact new york city does the opposite.

one day we will wake up and realize that no matter how many cosmopolitans we drink in one night, or ceos we meet in one day, or fashion runways we walk down, we are still the same people we were before we came to new york city. we are still searching. we have just managed to temporarily lose time.