winning "deal or no deal?"

tal bought me season one of grey's anatomy since i watched the first episode at her place and got hooked. i was watching it last night during my ocd binge and i was blind sided by the story line that it takes risks and chances to save lives. maybe its not just doctors who save lives every day through new medicines and surgeries.

maybe WE are saving our own lives everyday by taking risks and chances. maybe taking a risk not only saves our lives from monotony and boredom but also from unhappiness and from wandering aimlessly. maybe we are all searching for that risk to take that will save us from ourselves and that will define our being.

season two of the l word:
you never expect life to throw you so far off plan that you turn around and everything, everything you wanted is gone and then there's nothing left to lose. so you make a decision to take a risk on something you didn't even know was there. but you can't help but go for it and stop worrying what everyone thinks of you. it doesn't matter. forget them. stay true to yourself. you can't help who you love. so just open your heart and listen and let it take you wherever it wants to go.

maybe thats the perfect sum of our existence. that is those of us who decide to stop living in the past, in the regrets, and make the decision to sacrifice the burden we carry and live in the now. or maybe its not in initially taking the risk but rather in our mind set in taking the risk- not caring what everyone else thinks and taking the risk for ourselves.

or maybe this is all word vomit chalked up to a long training session in work...